Ukraine Hosting Story: Tetiana and Olena Families
‘I have learnt how fortunate I am,’ Diane insists. ‘When I think something in life is a bit of a nuisance, I think “How dare I”. I have enjoyed everything about having them here.’
‘We can’t imagine what they have been through,’ says Bob.
‘I love the fact that so much is happening all around us,’ Cathy adds. ‘We’ve gained far more than we’ve lost.’
Hosting Ukrainian families in the community here in Elmbridge has been a profound experience for those who have done it. Opening up a home and welcoming others into the family takes courage but it is also a hugely rewarding experience.
‘I’d been thinking about it for a while and I was in the lucky position of having space,’ Diane continues. ‘I had followed the war in the news and had been in touch with Elmbridge Council to say I’d be interested in having somebody. I had a phone call one day and I was introduced to these three people.’
‘We can’t imagine what they have been through,’ says Bob.
‘I love the fact that so much is happening all around us,’ Cathy adds. ‘We’ve gained far more than we’ve lost.’
Hosting Ukrainian families in the community here in Elmbridge has been a profound experience for those who have done it. Opening up a home and welcoming others into the family takes courage but it is also a hugely rewarding experience.
‘I’d been thinking about it for a while and I was in the lucky position of having space,’ Diane continues. ‘I had followed the war in the news and had been in touch with Elmbridge Council to say I’d be interested in having somebody. I had a phone call one day and I was introduced to these three people.’
(left-to-right) Tetiana, Diane, Alex and Dari
These three are Tetiana and her two children, Alex (15) and Daria (11). They lived in Vinnytsia, a city in central Ukraine. When the war broke out on 24 February 2022, Tetiana’s husband stayed behind to join the military. A bomb landed at the military base just three kilometres outside the city on the first day of fighting.
‘It was six o’clock the next morning when we left,’ Alex recalls. ‘We travelled to Chernivtsi, which is a city near the Romanian border. I was the guy with the map and I had to lead two cars. I was sharing the map reading with Nikita, we’d do four hours each at a time. I was trying to figure out where to go. Across the border we found a city about 50 kilometres away.’
Nikita is a year older than Alex. He has a younger brother, Mike, who is eight, and they travelled in convoy with mum Olena, who owns a travel agency with Tetiana back in Vinnytsia. The two families are close but nothing could have prepared them for the epic journey across Europe which lasted over two months. Taking in Romania, Hungary, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Germany, Belgium and France they travelled over 3000km to reach the safety of these shores.
‘We never thought about coming to England at first,’ Alex explains. ‘I’ve always wanted to study abroad, I learnt English when I was four, then I started to learn French. I never thought about coming to the UK because it’s so hard to get a visa. I tried to learn some Czech on the way here but I didn’t really like it so I said to Mum, “Let’s go to America”. She said, “How are we going to go to America with this car?” Then Mum found on a Facebook group the Homes for Ukraine programme in the UK and we applied for that.’
Diane’s son and two daughters live locally and have been very supportive. She is a former primary school headteacher who retired from her most recent role as a director of a counselling charity and had lived alone in Weybridge for the past six years when she opened her doors to Tetiana’s family.
‘My family consider you part of our family,’ Diane says, as the five of them sit around the garden table reflecting on the events of the past year. ‘We all knew at the beginning that certain things might go wrong but nothing was insoluble and we always talk things through, we’ve become like a close family.
Tetiania’s children attend school locally and feel secure and safe in their new environment.
‘Everything is good here,’ says Daria. ‘I love Di because she’s so happy every day and is always joking. Rose is a lovely dog too.’
‘It was six o’clock the next morning when we left,’ Alex recalls. ‘We travelled to Chernivtsi, which is a city near the Romanian border. I was the guy with the map and I had to lead two cars. I was sharing the map reading with Nikita, we’d do four hours each at a time. I was trying to figure out where to go. Across the border we found a city about 50 kilometres away.’
Nikita is a year older than Alex. He has a younger brother, Mike, who is eight, and they travelled in convoy with mum Olena, who owns a travel agency with Tetiana back in Vinnytsia. The two families are close but nothing could have prepared them for the epic journey across Europe which lasted over two months. Taking in Romania, Hungary, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Germany, Belgium and France they travelled over 3000km to reach the safety of these shores.
‘We never thought about coming to England at first,’ Alex explains. ‘I’ve always wanted to study abroad, I learnt English when I was four, then I started to learn French. I never thought about coming to the UK because it’s so hard to get a visa. I tried to learn some Czech on the way here but I didn’t really like it so I said to Mum, “Let’s go to America”. She said, “How are we going to go to America with this car?” Then Mum found on a Facebook group the Homes for Ukraine programme in the UK and we applied for that.’
Diane’s son and two daughters live locally and have been very supportive. She is a former primary school headteacher who retired from her most recent role as a director of a counselling charity and had lived alone in Weybridge for the past six years when she opened her doors to Tetiana’s family.
‘My family consider you part of our family,’ Diane says, as the five of them sit around the garden table reflecting on the events of the past year. ‘We all knew at the beginning that certain things might go wrong but nothing was insoluble and we always talk things through, we’ve become like a close family.
Tetiania’s children attend school locally and feel secure and safe in their new environment.
‘Everything is good here,’ says Daria. ‘I love Di because she’s so happy every day and is always joking. Rose is a lovely dog too.’
(left-to-right) Nikita, Olena, Bob, Cathy and Mike
A mile away in Oatlands, Cathy and Bob have two dogs at their home – Maisie and Lola - and the bustle of more footsteps through the door when Olena, Nikita and Mike arrived in September 2022 has been one of the many positives of this extended family. Cathy is also a recently retired primary school headteacher while Bob is still busy combining work as a part-time lecturer, local councillor and amateur cricketer.
‘After working 24/7 for 40-odd years, I like the fact that people are coming and going all the time,’ Cathy says. ‘We get on really well. When you live with people occasionally some things annoy you but not a lot, to be honest. The better you get to know people the better you can work things out. We eat separately but occasionally at weekends we’ll get a takeaway together or cook together. We love the way our two daughters have embraced the whole thing and there are times when we all go to family events together which is great.
‘We have arrangements in the house to allow independence and inter-dependence. You have to be flexible. Historically we’ve always opened our doors to people. I have two nieces from the United States who both have lived with us for a time, so we’re quite used to that sort of thing. You’ve got to not mind about sharing your house as a home for someone else, and we don’t mind that at all. You become a household that understands how you all work together and that develops over time. And the best thing is Olena’s cheesecake, she makes the best cheesecake ever!’
‘The dogs love having more people around,’ Bob adds. ‘Olena and the boys tend to fit in with what we do. We have little rules about the house to stop things like eight-year-olds traipsing through the house with muddy shoes from the garden, but that’s part of life! I have taken both boys to an Arsenal match and we’ve also been to see their school performances. Early on I asked Mike what his teacher was like and he said, “So, so!” I don’t think he’d have learnt that turn of phrase in the Ukraine.’
‘They help our boys with their homework sometimes which is great,’ Olena reveals. ‘I love this family and it’s an amazing place to live. For Nikita, who is older, it was difficult to settle at first but Mike doesn’t want to go back to the Ukraine, he loves it here. He does football, tennis, gymnastics, everything. We are lucky with this family as our life depends on the environment here in this home.’
Olena and Tetiana are embarking on new careers too. After leaving the travel business behind they are taking their first steps into landscape gardening after initially working at their hosts’ gardens and then expanding to the neighbours.
‘I know a lady in Ukraine who is a biologist and I got in touch with her and she helped me out about how to look after plants, treat diseases and make sure they are healthy,’ Olena explains. ‘I have 20 clients here now, and there are nearly ten of us working together.’
‘It is difficult to plan but maybe our dream could be a landscape design company in the future,’ adds Tetiana. ‘That is the challenge, how can we make our life comfortable?’
Contributing to the community is important for Olena and Tetiana. They left a wholesome life behind and want to embrace the new world as much as possible.
‘When we came here I put my heart into it to make it an interesting trip,’ Tetiana continues. ‘It would have been very difficult to think about the bigger problem of the war in Ukraine. Sometimes I can’t understand what has happened to us and what will happen in the future and when I think about this it’s very bad for my mental health. So I think about what we have here, with Di and other very nice people nearby, my children studying in school, and a lovely garden for us, a safe place where there are no rockets flying over us.’
The war is, inevitably, a constant presence in their lives, with Nikita and Alex paying particular attention to what is happening back home.
‘I have to follow it, my Dad is in the military so I get to know all the news,’ Alex explains. ‘Dad has been in dangerous situations. He has been near the frontline at times. Then Dad started to do a role involving more paperwork so he got moved to headquarters, but he still travels to the frontline at times.’
Out of the most terrible circumstances these two families have formed a lifelong bond with their hosts in the UK. And for the hosts, this has been a fulfilling opportunity to share something incredibly precious: a home.
‘When you ask about living in the same environment, it has to be our house together - all five of us’, Cathy points out. ‘It can’t be “Our house – Bob and I – and you three are living in it”, that wouldn’t work.’
Olena and her boys will always appreciate that. And just a mile down the road, Tetiana is equally thankful that Diane has come into their lives.
‘Di has opened not just her house but also her heart and we thank her so much for that.’
‘After working 24/7 for 40-odd years, I like the fact that people are coming and going all the time,’ Cathy says. ‘We get on really well. When you live with people occasionally some things annoy you but not a lot, to be honest. The better you get to know people the better you can work things out. We eat separately but occasionally at weekends we’ll get a takeaway together or cook together. We love the way our two daughters have embraced the whole thing and there are times when we all go to family events together which is great.
‘We have arrangements in the house to allow independence and inter-dependence. You have to be flexible. Historically we’ve always opened our doors to people. I have two nieces from the United States who both have lived with us for a time, so we’re quite used to that sort of thing. You’ve got to not mind about sharing your house as a home for someone else, and we don’t mind that at all. You become a household that understands how you all work together and that develops over time. And the best thing is Olena’s cheesecake, she makes the best cheesecake ever!’
‘The dogs love having more people around,’ Bob adds. ‘Olena and the boys tend to fit in with what we do. We have little rules about the house to stop things like eight-year-olds traipsing through the house with muddy shoes from the garden, but that’s part of life! I have taken both boys to an Arsenal match and we’ve also been to see their school performances. Early on I asked Mike what his teacher was like and he said, “So, so!” I don’t think he’d have learnt that turn of phrase in the Ukraine.’
‘They help our boys with their homework sometimes which is great,’ Olena reveals. ‘I love this family and it’s an amazing place to live. For Nikita, who is older, it was difficult to settle at first but Mike doesn’t want to go back to the Ukraine, he loves it here. He does football, tennis, gymnastics, everything. We are lucky with this family as our life depends on the environment here in this home.’
Olena and Tetiana are embarking on new careers too. After leaving the travel business behind they are taking their first steps into landscape gardening after initially working at their hosts’ gardens and then expanding to the neighbours.
‘I know a lady in Ukraine who is a biologist and I got in touch with her and she helped me out about how to look after plants, treat diseases and make sure they are healthy,’ Olena explains. ‘I have 20 clients here now, and there are nearly ten of us working together.’
‘It is difficult to plan but maybe our dream could be a landscape design company in the future,’ adds Tetiana. ‘That is the challenge, how can we make our life comfortable?’
Contributing to the community is important for Olena and Tetiana. They left a wholesome life behind and want to embrace the new world as much as possible.
‘When we came here I put my heart into it to make it an interesting trip,’ Tetiana continues. ‘It would have been very difficult to think about the bigger problem of the war in Ukraine. Sometimes I can’t understand what has happened to us and what will happen in the future and when I think about this it’s very bad for my mental health. So I think about what we have here, with Di and other very nice people nearby, my children studying in school, and a lovely garden for us, a safe place where there are no rockets flying over us.’
The war is, inevitably, a constant presence in their lives, with Nikita and Alex paying particular attention to what is happening back home.
‘I have to follow it, my Dad is in the military so I get to know all the news,’ Alex explains. ‘Dad has been in dangerous situations. He has been near the frontline at times. Then Dad started to do a role involving more paperwork so he got moved to headquarters, but he still travels to the frontline at times.’
Out of the most terrible circumstances these two families have formed a lifelong bond with their hosts in the UK. And for the hosts, this has been a fulfilling opportunity to share something incredibly precious: a home.
‘When you ask about living in the same environment, it has to be our house together - all five of us’, Cathy points out. ‘It can’t be “Our house – Bob and I – and you three are living in it”, that wouldn’t work.’
Olena and her boys will always appreciate that. And just a mile down the road, Tetiana is equally thankful that Diane has come into their lives.
‘Di has opened not just her house but also her heart and we thank her so much for that.’
If you are interested in hearing more about the possibility of hosting a Ukrainian guest already in Elmbridge, please get in touch with us on [email protected] and we will arrange a time to have a chat. Hosts and guests can get to know each other before committing to an arrangement and people already here usually require less support. Hosts receive a payment of £600 per month from Elmbridge Borough Council and both hosts and guests can contact us here at ElmbridgeCAN for support at any time.