REFUGEES AT HOME
Refugees at Home is a small UK-based organisation that connects people with a spare room in their home with asylum-seekers and refugees in need of accommodation.
What is it like to host a refugee?
by Steve Wells
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Steve Wells lives in Elmbridge. He's also one of Elmbridge CAN's newest steering group members.
When Karim, a Syrian neurosurgeon and refugee, arrived in the UK, Steve and wife Linda took him into their home. With the support of Elmbridge CAN and Refugees at Home, they helped Karim get back on his feet. Steve spoke about their experience at a recent event. |
Image: Steve and Linda with Karim / Elmbridge CAN
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Why we wanted a host a refugee
Most of all it was the frustration... the shame we felt at the Government's lack of action, lack of any humane response to the refugee crisis. We felt angry at the portrayal of refugees and asylum seekers as something other than human beings, as 'illegals who came here in swarms'. These are people in desperate need of protection and a safe haven, their bonds with family and community torn apart. Linda and I felt a compelling need to do something, anything, to counter what we felt was an inexorable drift towards exclusion of 'other'.
How it all began
Our children had moved out and we had a spare room. We contacted Refugees at Home and they set up a meeting with Karim. Naturally, we were a bit nervous. What would it be like sharing our home with someone who spoke limited English and from such a different cultural background?
When we met Karim, he was smiling broadly. Linda and I instinctively knew that we would get on. Indeed, Karim proved to be the perfect guest - inspiring, energising, educational and sensitive to our moods and needs.
The community's support for Karim has been heart warming. Friends invited him into their homes and on walks, to help him with his English. They loved connecting with, and learning from, someone so different, so inspiring. This contact has definitely helped Karim adapt to our culture - soon he was beginning every conversation with a comment about the weather!
Karim and his family
These encounters brought enormous joy to Karim - joy that he needed. He'd been separated from his wife and 3 children for over a year and often said to me that his heart was broken. It's impossible for me to imagine the depths of anguish Karim was feeling as we strove to negotiate the bureaucratic barriers to reuniting his family in the UK.
I recall one particular morning when Karim did not seem himself. When I asked, he told me his 6 year-old son was being bullied at school (in a refugee camp on the Turkish/Syrian border) in a particularly foul, racist way. As a father, so far away, Karim must have felt desperate.
We eventually got the family here in mid-January. I will never forget the sheer intensity and joy everyone felt as Karim embraced his family at the airport. It was a huge privilege to be there and it represented one of the most powerful expressions of hope I have ever experienced.
Some final thoughts
In reflecting on the past few months, I realise it's been a huge privilege for Linda and I to have met Karim and his family. We have learnt so much. His presence has inspired us and enriched our lives. And this at a time when, like so many others, we were feeling down about the state of our country.
For me, welcoming a refugee is essentially about forming relationships. If such relationships are to be healthy, they must be mutually beneficial. In looking for the best in others, we find the best in ourselves.
We have given Karim and his family a safe haven. They have given us peace of mind and the motivation to carry on and resist the forces in society that seek to divide us. And in our case, we understood from the outset, that what we did for Karim and his family - they would do for us in similar circumstances.
So when people say that our decision to take Karim in was noble or selfless, they fail to appreciate just how much we have gained from the experience. Karim and his family have taught us that anything is possible. So thank you Karim, for bringing us together, in so many ways.
Most of all it was the frustration... the shame we felt at the Government's lack of action, lack of any humane response to the refugee crisis. We felt angry at the portrayal of refugees and asylum seekers as something other than human beings, as 'illegals who came here in swarms'. These are people in desperate need of protection and a safe haven, their bonds with family and community torn apart. Linda and I felt a compelling need to do something, anything, to counter what we felt was an inexorable drift towards exclusion of 'other'.
How it all began
Our children had moved out and we had a spare room. We contacted Refugees at Home and they set up a meeting with Karim. Naturally, we were a bit nervous. What would it be like sharing our home with someone who spoke limited English and from such a different cultural background?
When we met Karim, he was smiling broadly. Linda and I instinctively knew that we would get on. Indeed, Karim proved to be the perfect guest - inspiring, energising, educational and sensitive to our moods and needs.
The community's support for Karim has been heart warming. Friends invited him into their homes and on walks, to help him with his English. They loved connecting with, and learning from, someone so different, so inspiring. This contact has definitely helped Karim adapt to our culture - soon he was beginning every conversation with a comment about the weather!
Karim and his family
These encounters brought enormous joy to Karim - joy that he needed. He'd been separated from his wife and 3 children for over a year and often said to me that his heart was broken. It's impossible for me to imagine the depths of anguish Karim was feeling as we strove to negotiate the bureaucratic barriers to reuniting his family in the UK.
I recall one particular morning when Karim did not seem himself. When I asked, he told me his 6 year-old son was being bullied at school (in a refugee camp on the Turkish/Syrian border) in a particularly foul, racist way. As a father, so far away, Karim must have felt desperate.
We eventually got the family here in mid-January. I will never forget the sheer intensity and joy everyone felt as Karim embraced his family at the airport. It was a huge privilege to be there and it represented one of the most powerful expressions of hope I have ever experienced.
Some final thoughts
In reflecting on the past few months, I realise it's been a huge privilege for Linda and I to have met Karim and his family. We have learnt so much. His presence has inspired us and enriched our lives. And this at a time when, like so many others, we were feeling down about the state of our country.
For me, welcoming a refugee is essentially about forming relationships. If such relationships are to be healthy, they must be mutually beneficial. In looking for the best in others, we find the best in ourselves.
We have given Karim and his family a safe haven. They have given us peace of mind and the motivation to carry on and resist the forces in society that seek to divide us. And in our case, we understood from the outset, that what we did for Karim and his family - they would do for us in similar circumstances.
So when people say that our decision to take Karim in was noble or selfless, they fail to appreciate just how much we have gained from the experience. Karim and his family have taught us that anything is possible. So thank you Karim, for bringing us together, in so many ways.
If you've been inspired by Steve's experience and would like to find out more about hosting a refugee, please contact Refugees at Home.
Or if you don't have a spare room, but would like to help refugees locally, there are lots of ways you can support our work - from spreading the word and following us on Facebook to volunteering with us.
Or if you don't have a spare room, but would like to help refugees locally, there are lots of ways you can support our work - from spreading the word and following us on Facebook to volunteering with us.
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